The cartoonily named Shane Wolfe (Vin Diesel) is a Navy SEAL with the unlikely assignment to serve as the bodyguard for a recently widowed young mother's children, with the side-proviso of pretending to be more of a babysitter so as not to worry the kids.

Shane is just such a fun-loving adorable trained-to-kill soldier in the punningly titled Disney flick The Pacifier (2005).

In this not-quite-a-remake of Kindergarten Cop (1990) with Vin supplanting Arnold, a musclebound super-stud changes all the kids' lives for the better, & they change his. It's just so adorable.

It's a entertaining-enough time-waster despite that the film's humor is slim. Typical of the "comedy" is how Shane out-bullies the high school wrestling coach (Brad Garrett) -- as if injuring some sad chump defines heroism.

The story's "danger" stems from a scientific discovery made by the kids' father, whom Shane previously failed to protect.

The climax will lead good guys & bad guys through a trail-of-traps to the gigantic bank vault under the suburban home, wherein the eency weency computer chip was secretly hidden. Don't ask why it's so retarded; it's supposed to be funny.

The villains are hardly any more clever than the would-be housebreakers in Home Alone (1990). So of course it takes a career soldier & a pack of kids to take them down.

The Pacifier is a competent family film & not much else. Vin Diesel is such a great screen presence, but he seems wasted on this -- unless you're a little kid who wishes your crummy dad was dead & someone cool like Vin Diesel could replace him.

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