turd-o-meter

The imprecise title Woodland Haunting Part 2 (2006 formal release, but it first showed at a microfestival in Des Moines in 2004) is not about a haunting in the woods, but a haunted house story set on Woodland Court.

It is a completely amateur production with bad sound, bad script, bad photography, terrible acting. It's even so rather packed with retarded fun & good for a very small giggle, just so long as you have no expectation of a film that's professional on any level.

Ghost hunter Denton Rose (director Dennis Baker) in a '67 hears & an Elvis wig, assisted by his fat buddy Briggs (Anthony Phol) are off on the road, headed for Woodland Court to investigate the haunting. By supernatural interference, or more likely by their own inteptitude, they cannot find the place.

They have a rotten corpse in the back of the hearse, maybe two. Meanwhile two girls get lost & will have a lame, confused adventure. Oh, & there's a sasquatch in the road, & a see-through flying saucer.

A guy named Larry visits his girlfriend Shelia (Darlene von Drake) in the haunted house on Woodland Court, knowing full well she's actually off her meds. When she's attacked by an evil Betty Boop doll, it looks pretty much like the doll isn't really doing anything.

Things continue in this random manner, each scene just being schtick, playing off sundry direct-to-video horror cliches in the way the Scream franchise lampoons theatrical releases. It's rather the home-video version of the Scream films, which I also consider lame films, though not so bad compared to this. The producer boasted that Woodland Haunting only cost $300 to make. So I'm impressed.

The "True" Story of the Woodland Haunting (2006) purports to tell the factual horrors & events behind the comical fictions of Part 2, which the documentary pretends was "a cult hit."

The "true" story of the alleged "cult hit" is an expansion of what should probably have remained Woodland Haunting Part 1, a twenty-five minute home movie shot in 2003.

There are moments you'd almost think it was legit, though not at all convincing, & it does underscore that the director is also the author of pisspoor nonfiction about hauntings in America.

The "True" Story. however, puts "True" in quotations because it's really only a promotional film, even less funny & more inept than that which it advertises.

It mixes stills, film footage, narration, & over-the-phone interviews to unveil the haunting at Woodland Court in Ypsilanti, Michigan, where amateur filmmaker Dennis Baker alleges to have really lived through these strange experiences. On every level it's an agregiously dull film.

copyright © by Paghat the Ratgirl